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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704160">now feel your fear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zekkass/pseuds/Zekkass'>Zekkass</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Other, Spark Sexual Interfacing (Transformers), War</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:27:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zekkass/pseuds/Zekkass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before the launch of the <i>Ark</i> and the <i>Nemesis,</i> Megatron has a test for Starscream to pass or fail.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Megatron/Starscream (Transformers)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>now feel your fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Despite the tags this is not a sexual fic. This is about hate and trust and love between Starscream and Megatron.</p><p>It's set in my personal version of G1, and thus you'll need this: in my headcanons, Starscream is hardwired to turn traitor. Like Swindle and his greed. Megatron and his high command know and work with this wiring, because Starscream is worth it.</p><p>Also: I left a central piece of this fic intentionally mysterious. Here's the other piece you need to know: Megatron is connected to a black hole in the G1 comics canon, and that's too horrifying not to keep.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the number one thing starscream cannot have: absolute trust. he's wired deep; traitor. turns on anything, anyone. is there truth to skyfire's disappearance? all of this is known to soundwave, and thus to megatron</p><p>//</p><p>Late in the war they're losing; no not in the sense of actually losing to the Autobots. But Cybertron is running out of power, it's far from any star, and according to Shockwave's calculations it will be millenia before it finds its way to another. In other ages there would be farms up and running, convoys between stars filled with converted energon, reservoirs prepared for the coming dark.</p><p>Thanks to the war equality has been assured: Iacon will be dark despite every abuse and lie.</p><p>Thanks to the war even the last choice has been denied: lock yourself in stasis and die when you're found. Whoever broke that taboo first is dead and neither leader can restore that measure of order.</p><p>The weak are culled in desperate last fights. Only the finest warriors and craftiest survivors remain. Megatron can name each and every one of his mechs; they are all who are left. Optimus Prime cannot, and the price for launching the Ark will be so great that some must remain on Cybertron - but unlike Shockwave, they will be vulnerable in stasis.</p><p>If Shockwave is loyal, at all, he will leave those stragglers alive.</p><p>//</p><p>Launch is coming, preparations grown to a fever pitch as Autobots steal what they can; Megatron forces a gap, demands Starscream's presence in his quarters on the Nemesis.</p><p>"What is it now?" Starscream asks, sneering. He has made it clear that he blames it all on Megatron: Cybertron's lack of power, the Autobot's continued existence, worse. In an earlier century he would have been replaced - but he was never this bad. Not until desperation drove everything to a fever pitch.</p><p>Megatron doesn't wait for him, throwing himself across the room in a move that ends with his hand around Starscream's neck. Null-rays have swiveled up; it would be stalemate if Megatron were anyone else.</p><p>He kisses him, enduring the retaliatory bite.</p><p>"I am your leader," Megatron says. "And a good leader trusts his followers. I called you here for a demonstration of that trust."</p><p>"Oh, really," Starscream says. He's brought his hands up to rest on Megatron's hips, claws out. Every close encounter ends with paint and buffing out dents; Starscream never leaves him unscarred. "I welcome the chance to demonstrate my loyalty, <i>leader."</i></p><p>Absolute, total lie: Starscream's neck cables tremble, and Megatron loosens his grip. He knows his second. Starscream craves power, of course. They all do. But Starscream's destroyed one partner and grief is a cruel whip on the back of a mech who cannot stop himself.</p><p>If Megatron were kinder, he would have led Starscream to hate him. But that would have required a show of incompetence, and he despises such failings. Starscream must take him as he is, and if that leads to genuine admiration - he must outpace Starscream's traitorous urges and greet his love as the threat it is.</p><p>Megatron drags him further into the room, onto the berth. He sits, braced against the wall, Starscream bent over him. The null-rays never leave their target. Megatron bares his fangs and opens his chestplates, metal parting along invisible seams creating a tunnel to the core of his being. His spark glows purple-white in the light, casting new shadows on Starscream.</p><p>A single set of movements and Starscream could kill him. Ultimate submission, except that his hand is braced on Starscream's neck and they both understand that this is the ultimate test of Starscream's self-control.</p><p>"There is no room for weakness in my command," Megatron tells him, as Starscream's optics fixate on his spark. "Go ahead, Starscream. Complete your coup. I'll even wish you luck in trying to tame Soundwave."</p><p>He deliberately removes each finger from Starscream's neck and puts his hand down on Starscream's hip, then places the one mirroring it. If Starscream has noticed - and of course he has - his cannon waits by the door. He has <i>never</i> had Megatron this defenceless before him.</p><p>A choked sound, and Starscream's optics flare before he reasserts higher functions.</p><p>"Soundwave's behind me," he tries. "Someone is."</p><p>"Soundwave is overseeing the armament of the <i>Nemesis."</i></p><p>"I hate you," Starscream says, a naked admission of love as he darts forward to kiss him.</p><p>There's a pinch as clawtips plunge into his spark, and Megatron is the one to bite this time as Starscream stares him straight in the optic, tracing terrible patterns in the very core of his being.</p><p>Laughter vibrates through them both, Megatron spitting static as pleasure and pain twist - and he seizes Starscream's wrist, tight enough to dent.</p><p>"If you snuff me," he whispers, voice full of threat and promise. "Do it fast. One motion. Then fly as fast as you can. You may try prayer." Threat recedes, becomes amusement. "With your extraordinary speed, you might even survive the attempt."</p><p>Suspicion is back in force, the gift revealed to be a trap. Starscream's optics glitter as he curls his claws in Megatron's part, lips parted, fangs resting on his lips.</p><p>"What terrible secret are you hiding?" Genuine, too genuine. The unasked question: <i>how can you be so calm when I have defeated you?</i></p><p>But it was a gift, and freely given. Starscream leans back from him, just enough so he can stare into Megatron's spark, try to divine the reason for Megatron's lazy confidence. This isn't suicide, it can't be. Not with Optimus Prime alive.</p><p>And Megatron's grip on his wrist becomes painful as he forces Starscream's clawed finger-tips deeper into his spark. Deeper. He brushes the solid fragments at the heart of every spark, his optics wide, fear leaking through his field. But Megatron doesn't let him go and there, at the center - the tip of a claw stops. Then the claw stops. The finger-tip itself. The finger. Megatron's dentae are bared as he lets go, as Starscream desperately rips his hand free and exposes a neatly severed stump. One delicate finger, gone, and devilishly easy to replace while they are on Cybertron and have access to so many corpses.</p><p>His mouth moves, and his fear is absolute. Only the need to divine a weakness keeps him on Megatron's lap.</p><p>Victors usually gloat. Usually explain something of their victory.</p><p>Megatron hides his spark away and gently strokes Starscream's cheek with the back of his fingers.</p><p>"I was built for victory," he murmurs. "To be worthy of the Decepticon name."</p><p>True cruelty would be to twist the knife, to whisper: <i>Can you say the same?</i></p><p>There's no need. Starscream knows the question and answer far too well.</p><p>Instead: "Be ready, Starscream. The Decepticons need a leader who will only sacrifice the weak. One who will walk onto the battlefield against each and every one of them and win. One who looks farther than they do. I grant that your perspective can be better than mine. You will need it, when you come for me next."</p><p>And just like that he shoves Starscream off of him, onto the floor. He rises, walking past Starscream to reclaim his cannon.</p><p>"We're running out of time to catch the Autobots. No more diversions. Come, Starscream."</p><p>Starscream, of course, rises. And follows.</p><p>//</p>
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